question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
