i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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