we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
my liver is dry heaving
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
