Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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