omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
