She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
