I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize