Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish you could order shots online.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
