The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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