I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
