Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize