Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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