I wish i was in the wii world.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
