do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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