it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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