I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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