What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
