go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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