he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize