sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There's always time for handjobs
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
