he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
