Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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