So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let the clothes fall where they may.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
