i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you would pick up someone in the library
Fuck appropriateness.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
