dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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