someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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