you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize