I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
