Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
