Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
