You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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