There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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