I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
