This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
