I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
