You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize