Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
