I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
