I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
