So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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