she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His hands were made for my vagina.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
