ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize