Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
