Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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