Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
