I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Panties = found
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
