We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
where does the pee come out of this thing
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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