All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have demons in me.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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