And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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