Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
