It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
