No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
