I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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