My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
