So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
