so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
