I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I intend to get homeless drunk
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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