I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There are leaves in my underwear?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
