no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
