Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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