new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
