He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
