Nicole vs. Life
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
