we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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