Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(802): View more from Vermont

my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other

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