Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
...so i touched it.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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