The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
