Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
