hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
