Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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