i think my tv is drunk
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
