Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
