my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
