i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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