He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
