??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
