We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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