Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
and you fell through a lawn chair
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
