True but thats because hes a fetus.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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