he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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