butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
