too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
