i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
time to smoke my breakfast
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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