All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
